


Let's go to Disneyland

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 10x22, Charlie Bradbury - Freeform, Dean is a jerk, Gabriel Lives, Gabriel is a good guy, M/M, Mark of Cain, Repressed Emotions, SPN - Freeform, Sabriel - Freeform, Sam and Gabriel - Freeform, Sam crying, Sam has no self esteem, Unrequited Love, gabe is a good angel, gabriel consoling, gabriel is alive, sam feels bad, sam feels responsible, sam is pansexual, sam is repressing emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 14:04:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3980848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>10x22 recration because I felt this was a better version idk...</p><p>SABRIEL!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's go to Disneyland

Here's my emotional rant about how sam must be feeling right now... Enjoy 

Dean was done with sam. Exasperated, his older brother placed his hands in his pockets and waltzed off grumbling, planning his revenge against the Stynes. Sam stayed, and shivered quietly and then the pain hit him like a punch to the gut. “I killed everyone… I killed Jo, Ellen, ash, Kevin, I killed charlie-”

Sam sputtered out a breath, and wrapping his arms around his freezing waist. “I killed Jess…”

Jess. The thought of her flooded Sam’s memory. They say a persons voice is the first thing someone forgets about another person- but sam could still hear her voice- in the sounds of the ocean, in the whistles of trees, in the crackling of the fire in which another innocent was burning in front of him– nobody else was to blame for all of this, he is the reason this perfect girl, his little sister, his girlfriend and all of the others are dead.

He remembers all their names, Sam knows for a fact Dean doesn’t, but Sam will never forget them. Every single person who died because of him, is scribed and etched into his memory like the tablets are scribed into Metatron’s own. “What would it be like if Id never existed?”

Sam huffed again. He’d thought about it a lot, but now it made more sense for him to not exist than it ever had before. “I’ve saved less people than I’ve murdered- because that’s what I am; a killer; a worthless nothing.”

Sam hadn’t realised it until he whimpered, but there were tears streaming and soaking his face all the way down his collar and he was collapsed onto his knees, now unable to choke anymore words out- Dean would say he was weak, and of course Sam would agree with him. Sam truly was pathetic now. But he’d been strong for so long there was nothing else left but this small, simple shuddering shell of a man. He’d tried so hard- to help everyone, and now anyone who he cared about was dead, turned against him, or didn’t care anymore. Sam had taken all his bravery left and thrown it away with this last shot, and now- there’s him and Charlie’s burning body. Everyone he’s loved have ended in flames.

Dean was truly getting worse, but only Sam could see it; it was Dean’s mannerisms, his occasional comments; Sam knew full well the real Dean was still there somewhere, but was becoming weaker everyday, and there wasn’t anything sam could do anymore- he was left with nothing. The real Dean wouldn’t have sacrificed Sam to Cole without a second thought, the real Dean would have cared about his baby; his only possession left of his father whom he once was so loyal, the real Dean would look after Castiel even if his grace was back- they- they were all each other had, and now there’s nobody. No one but Sam, and his many, many dead friends.

A final shudder came from sam, with a clenching of fists. “What the fuck happened to us?-” 

a gush of wind and a flutter of wings were all the sobbing man heard next. A tiny hand had rested on his shoulder but sam didn’t flinch. His large palms were tucked deep in his face and honestly he didn’t care if it was a friend or enemy- he just wanted to go where he deserved: Back to the cage. The only place he was worthy of.

“Woah Sammich- that’s heavy- you really don’t want to go back to my bro’s bedroom do you?”

Gabriel. Sam let out a choked sob and somehow Sam knew Gabriel was kneeling next to him so the hunter turned, falling right into Gabriel’s embrace. Sam weeped louder than he ever had before. Wetting Gabriel’s chest as they laid on the ground together. He didn’t really care how awkward it was, he really couldn’t give any more shits. It was someone he hadn’t killed and someone who had come to visit him. ‘Someone he hadn’t killed-’

“G-Gabriel you’re alive?”

Sam pulled up, and realised Gabriel had a bright red face full of shyness and insecurity. He looked at Sam like he was speaking foreign language, and then the Angel’s brain clicked back into motion. “huh kiddo? Yeah! Surprise! I was waiting till your birthday but it seems I’ve…”  
Gabriel looked at his wrist like he was searching for the time. “missed that. shit, I’m sorry.”

Gabriel procured a small red velvet cupcake from the click of his fingers and it had a small candle too. it looked delicious. “For me?”

Gabriel nodded, and sam pulled his jacket covered fingers out from underneath his pockets. Gabriel watched him carefully as sam gently took it out of the archangels fingertips and pulled it up to his lips. But as Sam was about to bite down, he reefed it away, giving Gabriel a suspicious and concerned look with his tear stained, bright red face.

Gabriel immediately took the innocence and threw his hands up defensively. “I swear. It’s just a really frickin good cupcake. I wouldn’t do anything to you Sam- not now- not- not again.” 

For some reason, the younger winchester believed him. The moan he let out as he bit down made Gabriel have to look away in embarrassment, but he returned with a platonic smile, knowing he made Sam’s mood slightly better. 

“But how did you su- survive?”

Gabriel sighed like it was too long a story to tell, so he shortened it. “Look. I totally was ready to die for humanity and everything, and I did! I really did die, but Uh- daddy dearest brought me back last year for some profound reason.”  
Sam sighed heavily, letting out one more shudder and looked back up at the Angel’s beautiful hazel eyes. Gabriel smiled, content, with the surroundings he was in, and then his face turned grim. “Sam- I’m so sorry. For everything. All the Tuesdays, the tv land- everything. I was a horrible angel to you and you didn’t deserve the tortures I put you through. I know it won’t be easy to forgive me but I’d like to help you, Id like to-”   
Gabriel pulled in a deep breath, then as if he felt like he was jumping off a cliff, he let go “Id like to look after you sam. I want to protect you from this- because I can see what’s going to happen and it’s not going to be good-”

Sam straightened up and shuffled away from Gabriel slightly. “Dude, I’m not gay-”

“Technically I’m not a dude.”   
Gabriel huffed “and I didn’t mean it like that. God it’s so hard to talk to you ugh-  
“I meant I felt like its my responsibility to make it up to you. Because you’re a good human Sam, and I don’t know many of those. In fact, I don’t know any being on this planet like you. let me prove to you I can be forgiven.”  
Gabriel muttered under his breath “also that’s bullshit because you’re actually pan.”

“Huh?”

Sam eyed Gabriel down and eventually shrugged, placing down the cupcake onto the dew stained grass around him. “Nothin sam”

After a while or silence and the Winchester pulling at wet blades of grass and de-rooting flowes, Sam raised his vision curiously up to Gabriel, now comfortable with the conversation again, “You’re right you know.”

Sam eventually spoke, moving his legs around his body, uncrossing them and pulling them up to his chest. “About?”

Gabriel cocked his eyebrow and smirked. “About the fact I haven’t forgiven you- and I’m not sure I ever will.”  
Sam’s voice heightened and he began stirring excitedly. “But you’re here now and you can fix everything and bring back charlie and save everyone. And fix Dean. That’d be a good start.”

The archangel sighed he knew this was as going to happen, and he really wished he could fix everything for this moose man, he really did. “Sam. You do realise I fell from heaven too right? And even though I have most of my grace, I can’t bring back Charlie now you have burned her body. Plus stealing a human from a heaven run by Hannah doesn’t sound too ideal to me. And although I hate your brother, I don’t particularly think I’d like him with black eyes-” Gabriel sighed in anguish “ I wish I could take that fugly mark off your big bro, but mine created it and it’s much stronger magic than my grace would be able to handle. Sadly, both are a no-can-do.”

Sam had forgotten Gabriel had fallen too. He had expected him to be the answer to their problems. 

Full of forlorn at first, Gabriel stared away from the younger winchester. Sam felt quite sorry for him. Sam huffed in anguish at this. He never thought he’d feel bad for Gabriel ever in his entire existence, but there it was; Sam truly felt bad for the angel. He just wished Gabriel could have done something to help… 

When Sam returned to the land of reality, he realised Gabriel looked angry. “The horn of Gabriel- not the sigil, the actual horn. Metatron used it against me. He tricked me into doing what he wanted because it not only did it make the sigils affects stronger, but it brought me out of hiding.  
"He tricked me into believing if i helped him he would return it to me. With the eldest living son of dad.  
"I found out it was broken after he fell from power- he tore it and burnt it and ripped it to small fibres. I cannot fix it, and now… Now I have nothing left but humanity.”

After a long silence and watching Charlie’s body burn into small embers, Sam finally chuckled. “So we are just two screw ups who ran away from our shitty fathers and watched all our loved ones die even though we eventually decided to do good by them?”

“Seems like it…”  
Gabriel started laughing too. They were quite alike, Sam and Gabriel, more than they had ever realised before.

They continued to smile at their toes for a long while. “Have you ever wanted to go somewhere else Sam?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, somewhere besides America or Canada, besides heaven or even hell? Have you ever been to Disneyland sam? What about London? I could take you anywhere you wished with a snap of my fingers, we could be in Tibet, Egypt, or on Mount Everest. We could go to the deepest oceans and see what’s at the bottom. All you would have to do would be say the word and I could take you anywhere or any time period you dreamed.”

Sam snorted and found this such an absurd notion. But at the bottom of his stomach he felt some sort of thrill at the idea of running away with Gabriel to places unknown. He couldn’t though, he can’t just abandon Dean. “But what about Dean? the mark isn’t just going to cure itself.”

“Helloooo! Archangellll!”   
Gabriel grinned while circling his face with his forefinger. “I may not be able to cure the mark completely, but I can stop it from getting any worse for the time being, and I could freeze time anyway. nobody would notice a thing because you would have technically never left! We could stop the clock and go anywhere and still be back for bath time if that’s what you wanted. Cmon Sam. Us two runaways, us two screw ups- we could go anywhere- do anything!”

Sam stood up. Gabriel scrambled up to follow the unravelling man. “And you promise this isn’t just some elaborate scheme to tell me to accept my brother-” sam choked for a second. “My brother is sick and I have to get over it?”

“Sam, I want every trace of my older brother gone from this world as much as you do- I honest to dad want to just watch your stupid face when you go on your first ever ride of the teacups and see you in lederhosen and watch you try not to nerd out at the sight of the mons Lisa”

Apprehensively, Sam trusted out his palm, and nodded at it. “Fine. But I’m trusting you in this- God I’m trusting Gabriel the frickin’ archangel… Dean’s gonna kill me… ”

Gabriel made several loud jeeps and yips as he jumped around excitedly. Sam sighed and pulled his dismissed hand in. “You said Disneyland Gabriel?”

Eventually the short angel stopped zooming around and stopped right at Sam’s chest, smiling up at him.   
“The happiest place on earth it is! We are going to get so fat on cotton candy sam!”

Gabriel placed his small hand up to Sam’s shoulder. And in the meadow, the only trace either of them was there was the sound of the rain drops that sizzled against the burning fire of Sam’s dear friends remains.


End file.
